Two weeks ago, I wrote about limiting beliefs, especially when it comes to the pregnancy experience.
It’s a topic that keeps coming up for me and one I want to expand upon. I just got back from my incredible Hawaiian ‘Babymoon.’ My husband and I shared eight days of adventure, relaxation, and exploration in Oahu.
It was blissful.
Being eight months pregnant draws a lot of attention. Most of it welcome. Friendly conversations with strangers about our due date, how exciting it will be, stories about their own kids — generally people light up enthusiastically.
Occasionally, though, there are those who overstep. Like saying I look small for 33 weeks, or that I need to get home and rest. Contradictory comments. Confusing, as you can imagine.
Then there are people who speak ignorantly. I got a comment on Facebook from an old friend saying I was brave for flying so late in my pregnancy. There’s that word brave again. Though, again, nothing I’m doing is particularly courageous.
It’s considered safe to fly until 36 weeks, even up to 40 weeks if given the okay by your OB-GYN. I’m only 33 weeks. Furthermore, I’m a low risk pregnancy and my doc gave me the go-ahead.
No reason to be concerned and I’m certainly not doing anything risky.
If you’re still concerned about me, be comforted knowing I took recommended precautions. I wore compression socks, took a baby aspirin before the flight, walked and stretched every hour we were in the air, and drank lots of water. All of this is to prevent blood clots. Trust me, you don’t need to worry for me. I’ve done enough of that for all of us — I learn the risks but I don’t let fear drive my decisions.
Our second day in Oahu, we enjoyed enjoying a lovely day on a catamaran where we went snorkeling with wild dolphins.
It was spectacular. I love these majestic creatures. They are intelligent, perceptive and curious. Fun fact: Dolphins can detect when a women is pregnant because their sonar can tell when one body has two heartbeats. How cool is that?!
After our excursion, we got to play on stand up paddle boards around the bay.
I have tons of experience on the boards. I spent seven weeks learning how to do yoga on paddle boards in Panama and another two months paddling around my water hut in the Philippines when I was filming ‘Dating Naked.’
When presented with the opportunity, I gladly took one out for a leisurely spin. But when I got back on the boat, a woman said to me, “My boyfriend told me he would have killed me if I’d gone on that pregnant.”
I was a little stunned by the comment. I mustered a little laugh and replied, “Well, that’s too bad. I teach yoga, so I’m pretty confident with my balance.”
What I was really thinking was “Um … cool story, bro.”
Comments like this seem innocent and harmless, but there’s so much to unpack here.
One, this woman lets her boyfriend dictate what’s right for her. Two, he was watching me and judging me and she felt the need to tell me. Three, his assumption that he knows more about what’s right for me and my body than I do.
Thanks for the judgement. I’m good. I’ve continued to teach and practice yoga throughout my pregnancy; I have excellent balance; the water was still as can be. I assumed very little little risk. It’s riskier for me to be in a car than on a paddle board.
Can people stop telling women what to do with their bodies? This brought up a lot of feelings for me. Especially with what’s happening in the news. It’s hard to avoid, even when when on vacation.
I’m referring to the dangerous ‘heartbeat bills‘ being passed all over the country. When the punishment for getting an abortion after being raped is more severe than the punishment for rape, it’s an attack on women.
It’s not your business what a woman does to her own body. I’m not pro-abortion, but I am compassionate to circumstances that a woman would feel this was the best option she had.
Stop judging and start loving. It’s none of your business if I’m on a paddle board or if a woman you don’t even know (or possibly someone you do, as 1 in 4 have had one) gets an abortion.
I’m glad to see Hollywood is standing up to this. Bravo to Busy Phillips for starting the conversation. It’s really a basic principle to stand up for.
Do you, boo.