As we wrap up season one here on A Do-Gooder In Hollywood, I thought I’d take us back to the theme that started this journal – time.
A few nights ago, my husband kissed my round belly and said “I wish we could freeze time.”
Cue the waterworks. I bawled my eyes out.
As I mentioned last week, I’m a bit emotional right now. Okay, I’m always emotional; I’m a Cancer after all, but more-so at this stage in life.
I too wish we could stop time. This pregnancy has been so joyous, transformative and simply enjoyable. I don’t want it to end. The truth is, it is ending. Very soon. We’ve got, at most, a month. In reality, probably 2 weeks if not mere days. We just don’t know.
The baby showers are over, the nursery is ready, the strollers are assembled, the car seat is installed. All that’s missing is our baby. While we wait patiently to meet our child, we are not rushing this precious period.
It’s been quite luxurious. We have intentionally kept our calendars relatively clear. We lounge around reading, organizing the house and taking longs walks with our dog. It’s our way of easing into our new life.
I am enjoying this quiet, alone time with my husband. We both know it’s coming to an end soon. That is a bittersweet realization for both of us.
It’s interesting that when you start to detach from the world, the world finds you more irresistible. I’ve had a few long lost friends reach out about wanting to get together. Now – of all times. I’ve set my clear boundaries and desires to keep a very open schedule, but they persisted. So I set meetings with each of them, close to my house, on terms that made me comfortable. All three agreed and expressed how happy they were to get to see me pregnant.
Then, one by one, they all cancelled on me. Odd, isn’t it? I’ve learned to brush off flaky people and have compassion for their lack of follow through. I just don’t do that to people. It’s one of my biggest pet peeves. If you make plans, honor them. It’s my favorite of the 4 Agreements – Be impeccable with your word.
I was never too disappointed by the cancellations. They freed me up to hang out with my husband or do a project around the house. That’s all I want to do right now anyway.
I’m a girl who loves to be on the go. But lately, I’ve changed my tune. I love the way my husband and I ease into our days – enjoying coffee and matcha on the couch with a good book – and ending them long walks around the neighborhood. We are connected in a new way.
We talk about our anxiety. Our fears of becoming parents. The freedom we’re giving up. As scared as we both are, it’s overshadowed by the joy and anticipation we both feel. I’ve never been more in love with my husband. These tender, simple moments are so sweet.
Though the pregnancy is coming to end, and we can’t stop time, the good news is that what’s next will be even sweeter.
“The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.”
I’d add father to that quote too. A new life is about to begin. t’s about time for baby bliss.
I hope you have enjoyed following my journey in Hollywood and into my pregnancy. It’s been cathartic for me to have an outlet to process my thoughts and feelings. I’ll be back with one final post when Baby Seeley makes his or her triumphant arrival. Stay tuned.