Dear Lukas,

I met with my creative partner Rocco — perhaps you know him — at the stately Panera in Green Tree, with the goal to make this journal ‘stickier,’ for lack of a better term.

To pull back the curtain a little further, we want to keep you coming back for more. But how?

Being the savvy entertainment professional that he is, Rocco suggested to set some sort of tangible goal, all the better to weave a compelling narrative. Agreeable. Humans like stories and installments build drama.

Being an overly-optimistic maniac armed with the knowledge that I like to run, Rocco then suggested I try to run a four-minute mile.

As in, the barrier that British beast Roger Bannister broke in 1954, setting a new world record.

Altruism, engage!

As in, a standard only the elite of the elite runners on this planet can accomplish to this day.

Um … OK?

Now, I’ve been amping up my speed training lately, but on my best day I’m at a six-minute mile. Four-minute miles are reserved for those runners touched by God, and I’m just a wannabe at best.

However … I’ve never actually trained to run a single mile as fast as I can, so it’s possible I’ve left a lot on the table in terms of this well-worn distance.

So, alright, Rocco. I’ll freakin’ do it, even if you might as well ask me to recite the Gettysburg Address in Latin or split a hydrogen atom.

Let me rephrase: I’ll freakin’ TRY it.

Off to the gym! (I guess I should buy something before sprinting out. Coffee sounds good … I’ll need the energy.)

Without doing any serious research — that comes later — my first step to mile supremacy was to hop on the treadmill at the max pace allowable and see how long I could last. 

The glorified hamster wheels at the YMCA in Bellevue go as high as 12 mph, so I revved it up and hopped on. That’s a five-minute pace for a mile, in case you didn’t care to do the mental math.

Two minutes of huffing and puffing later, I had to jump off the speeding belt. That’s just 40 percent of a five-minute mile, just so we’re crystal clear. (I went on to finish the mile at that pace, just in four separate increments. Hey, I had hockey to play in the evening, so I didn’t want to leave it all at the gym.)

How It Works!

How Do-Goodery Works

That’s a long way from even dreaming a four-minute mile, but at least I know where I stand? Yeah, we’ll go with that.

At worst I train to get below a five-minute mile and I end up getting a lot faster than I currently am. That’s an outcome I can get behind. If I surprise myself, all the better.

So, onward to the four-minute mountain. Let’s see if I can get beyond base camp.



Calories burned (active): 1,289
Minutes exercised: 96
Hours stood: 14
Steps taken: 4,770
Activity: Sprints at 12 mph (2:00, 1:30, 1:00, 0:30), 75 minutes of pick-up hockey

Hours shirtless: None

Semicolon Count: 0